Ladies, never take for granted a happy and healthy sex life. There are few guarantees in life and that includes sexual satisfaction. But if your sex life has flourished and remained blissful, consider yourself lucky. Likely you’ve learned certain things helping you sustain sexual desire. Just like having healthy teeth and gums requires daily brushing and flossing, achieving a satisfying and fulfilling sex life also requires attention to care and nurturing.
Intimacy and sex with your partner play a significant role in your overall health. The benefits of sex extend beyond the bedroom. Studies have found an active and satisfying sex life for women boosts immunity, mental health, improves heart health along with reducing stress and better sleep.
But too often for women, after the honeymoon’s over and kids come along, the energy and sexual desire necessary for good sex, become precious commodities that plummet. Hormones and mood are fluctuating, libido is barely there, and energy levels are focused on childcare or elderly parent care. Then there are the physical transformations influencing a woman’s sexuality. Vaginal pain and dryness, hot flashes, or weight gain, can majorly impact a woman’s sex life. Achieve sexual satisfaction long-term, takes time.
There are several solutions for improving bedroom activities, addressing both physical and mental issues that with a few adjustments, can transform a so-so sex life into an erotic and fulfilling part of your life keeping you sexually satisfied for years.
Here are some tip for sex improvement in women you can try at home:
- Use lubrication. This can be an easy fix for vaginal dryness that begins in perimenopause. Lubricating liquids and gels reduce painful sex while also reducing a flagging libido and any relationship issues. If the lubrication is no longer working, ask your doctor for other options.
- Try different positions. If lovemaking has become the same thing over and over, time for a change of sexual positions. This not only adds interest but also overcomes any physical problems that have hindered sex.
- Do Kegel exercises. Exercising the pelvic floor (for both women and men) is a perfect way to enhance and improve your sexual fitness. Easily practically anywhere – while driving, standing in line, at work – Kegel exercises tighten pelvic floor muscles you would use if you were tiring to stop urine midstream. Hold the contraction for two to three seconds, release and repeat at least 10 times doing 5 sets each day.
- Focus on the moment during sex. Distractions are everywhere. The ability to tune out the noise when trying to focus on romance can be difficult. Especially for women. Racing thoughts of the kids, deadlines at work, or what food to bring to a weekend party, can squelch sexual desire very fast. To experience full arousal and orgasm during sex requires deep focusing. Two studies found this to be true in helping women improve their sex life. A 2014 study in the Journal of Sexual Research found that women improved significantly their sexual desire, overall sexual function, and reduction in sex-related distress after practicing a mindfulness program. A 2018 study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, found that women who meditated scored higher on measures of sexual function and desire. One other technique women should consider – fantasizing to shut off any “noise.” It’s common for many women, especially with low libido, to fantasize during sex helping them get into a deeper state of arousal.
- Nurture physical touch. A particular technique sex therapists use to increase physical intimacy without any sexual pressure is to practice touching. It might be giving each other a full-body massage, back, foot, or hand rub, or just any area of the body that is ‘neglected’ during sex.
- Nurture affection for one another. Remember at the beginning of your relationship with your partner, the affection you had for each other? Be sure you’re still doing what it takes for maintaining an emotional and physical bond. Engage in kissing and cuddling is a perfect way to start.
- Have fun together. Do you as a couple have fun…outside the bedroom? Make a list for the past week of what you have done, just for fun, as a couple. Maybe going out to eat, seeing a concert, attending a birthday party, a walk on the beach…whatever you both found to be fun, counts. Couples, who make the time to have fun together outside the bedroom, usually have an easier time making fun in the bedroom
- Embrace body positivity and sexual self-confidence. Women, who feel physically unattractive or have low sexual self-esteem, will be more challenged to enjoy sex. Body image that includes weight concerns, physical appearance, and sexual attractiveness often predicts sexual satisfaction for women, as found in a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. One research study found that women who increase exercise and physical fitness increase their attractiveness and energy levels helping women feel better about themselves increasing sexual confidence. It also helps to know that even carrying some extra pounds or having stretch marks from childbirth, the vast majority of men does not conform to what the media says makes women attractive. Most men say they find their partner’s body perfect just as it is and besides when in the heat of the moment of sexual activity, men will be focused more on the details and sexual experience rather than a woman’s body.