There’s a high likelihood that men reading this article are usually the first to initiate sex in a long-term marital relationship. That means married women are not necessarily always “in the mood” like men often are who tend to have higher sex drives.
It’s not unusual for married sex to occasionally wax and wane over the years. In the beginning of your relationship, sex was frequent and lusty. Now, dwindling sexual intimacy often becomes the norm for many married couples who have become ‘comfortable’ with their current routine.
To ignite the spark between couples who’ve been together a long time, it’s not a matter of sending flowers or taking her on a romantic cruise (even though that may be a good idea), rather it’s the little things each day showing how much you appreciate and care for her that matter. In order to be connected physically, you have to first work on connecting with her emotionally and mentally too. That’s when the real magic begins.
Here are 3 things that surprisingly can be the ‘turn-on’ button for getting her in the mood:
Help around the house – a lot
Women are busy. From taking care of the kids, working, planning and cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning the house, and the list goes on. There are those men who eagerly pitch in to lighten the load for their wives. Good for them and good for their sex life too.
Whatever you can do making her life easier with fewer things to do, can be a significant turn-on for her. Look for opportunities to help out – don’t wait to ask! Are there dishes in the dishwasher to unload? Is there laundry to fold and put away? Does your five-year-old need help dressing or their breakfast made before going to school? This is your time to shine by embracing some of her workloads, working and sharing together managing household duties.
Just by giving her a break from her regular routine, can make a world of difference at the end of the day. Instead of climbing into bed tired and grumpy, feeling like she had no time to herself, there’s a greater chance she’ll be grateful for your help and let you know it too.
Make sex about her pleasure
We know that men are much more likely to experience orgasm than women. This likely is one very good reason men are always up to having sexual intimacy. But women, who are more apt to have a tougher time achieving this goal, are likely to think, “What’s the point” if they infrequently are not enjoying sex as much because of that reason.
Be sure you are focusing your sexual encounters on her pleasure and not just yours. Work with your partner to keep exploring sex, finding ways to make it more pleasurable for both of you. One of the biggest turn-on’s for men is to bring their wife to sexual fulfillment. Being open to her wants and needs, can be a strong turn-on for your wife. Just knowing you care enough to take the time to help her feel loved and desired, significantly helps your love life.
Make her feel sexy
To be turned on, it helps to feel sexy and desirable. Does your wife feel that way and do you know how she feels about this? Many women often feel unsexy for several reasons. Bodily changes over the years, health conditions, no time for herself, always feeling tired, dealing with anxiety or depression, and so forth. This is where you can help her remember why you were attracted to her in the first place. Start with making sincere compliments on her looks. Touch her often throughout the day, way before its bedtime. This sends her the message that you find her attractive and want to be with her.
Send her sexy text messages or call her for no reason other than to hear her voice and tell her that too. Buying sexy lingerie for her to wear or surprising her with flowers may help, but every woman is different in how they will react to these unexpected gestures of love.
Basically, make her feel that she is your woman and you want to only be with her. This can be one of the sexiest turn-on’s of all.