7 Ideas to prevent feeling too tired for sexual intimacy


Life gets busy. Work, family, errands, attending kid’s school events, taking care of elderly parents…there’s only so much to fit into one day. By the time night falls, your energy level is zapped. All you want to do is crawl into bed and get much-needed shut-eye.  The busyness of life also can zap your sex life, causing it to become less and less frequent.

In addition, low testosterone levels in men and sleep disturbances seen in menopausal women significantly impact a couple’s sexual intimacy.  

The days of exciting, fun, and spontaneous sex may seem long ago, but that doesn’t mean a drop in sexual enthusiasm has disappeared completely. No, it simply means energy drain from hectic schedules, and putting your sex life last, needs a reboot. 

If you feel like your sex life has shut down due to a lack of energy, here’s a look at eight ideas reenergizing your interest, eagerness, and passion for closeness and intimacy, once again, in your relationship.

      1. Go to bed earlier 



If you spend your evenings surfing the internet or watching TV, plan to call it a night by going to bed at least 30 minutes earlier, without any electronic devices in sight. Cuddling under the covers earlier than usual, helps avoid pressure to have sex, when feeling overly tired from staying up too late. 

      2. Play by the 10-minute rule

Let’s say you just want to fall asleep, but your partner is in the mood. Compromise by agreeing to 10 minutes of physical closeness – kissing, cuddling, giving massages – whatever it takes to help you feel the same way. If, after 10 minutes, you’re still too tired, try the next night again. 

      3. Keep sex exciting

If tiredness tends to rule if you have sex or not, maybe consider sex has become boring. When was the last time as a couple you both have confided what really turns you on? Bring back romance by having date nights, taking long evening walks, or spontaneously surprising one another with an unexpected gift. It also helps to start early in the day, showing your love, so by the time night falls, you’re more in the mood for a sexual tryst. 

      4. Address issues of depression

Depression can drain your energy. When feeling sad or hopeless, your ability to sleep may be affected leading to tiredness, or a desire for sex. Find a therapist you feel comfortable confiding to about depression. Treatment for depression usually focuses on finding ways to cope with the feelings of this condition. Addressing depression early on, can help reignite your energy and libido. 

      5. Share household chores

It’s difficult to feel sexy after spending most of the day cleaning the house or taking care of the yard yourself. The solution? Share the workload of managing your home. Divide up which chores each of you does to prevent feelings of resentment and tiredness at the end of the day. The goal is to prevent either of you from falling asleep before you’ve even said “good night.”

      6. Address hormonal imbalances 

When your hormones are out of balance, your sex life will likely suffer.  Men with low testosterone will have a noticeable libido drop, while menopausal women often struggle with inadequate sleep, keeping them perpetually tired.  In both situations, men and women must talk candidly with their healthcare providers.  A urologist can easily help men, while gynecologists can easily help women establish hormonal balance, helping restore their stamina and energy for sex.  

      7. Allow time for adequate sleep

Everyone requires adequate sleep. But, if sleep deprivation is a nightly occurrence, your ability to stay awake or have a sexual interest will dwindle. So, start first by figuring out the cause of inadequate sleep. Common causes might be sleep apnea, anxiety, or an enlarged prostate forcing men to make frequent nighttime bathroom trips. Whatever the problem may be, addressing it by seeking medical help can be life-changing, including changing your vitality for sex. 


Dr. David Samadi is the Director of Men’s Health and Urologic Oncology at St. Francis Hospital in Long Island. He’s a renowned and highly successful board certified Urologic Oncologist Expert and Robotic Surgeon in New York City, regarded as one of the leading prostate surgeons in the U.S., with a vast expertise in prostate cancer treatment and Robotic-Assisted Laparoscopic Prostatectomy.  Dr. Samadi is a medical contributor to NewsMax TV and is also the author of The Ultimate MANual, Dr. Samadi’s Guide to Men’s Health and Wellness, available online both on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Visit Dr. Samadi’s websites at robotic oncology and prostate cancer 911. 

7 Ideas to prevent feeling too tired for sexual intimacy
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Dr. David B. Samadi