How men can avoid these five common bedroom blunders during sex

Men, if you automatically assume you know exactly what women want in bed, it’s time to change that assumption. Likely you see yourself as a natural Casanova during sex, but what does she think? Have you asked her? If your love life has ever tanked, perhaps it is because of unconscious mistakes you are making. Get the details on five common bedroom blunders you may be making, not realize it, but more importantly, how to prevent them:

Mistake #1: Expecting women to turn on to sex immediately after getting into bed

Sure, we, as guys, can do that with no problem. But women are different. Women need romance, love, and shows of affection hours before bedtime arrives. A kiss good morning, a hug before leaving to go off to work, a seductive text message during the day, holding hands when watching a movie, rubbing her shoulders; each of these affectionate love messages can set the stage for bedroom activities to take off once you both crawl under the covers.

Mistake #2: Believing that good sex is only about your performance

All men have, during intimacy, worried about their sexual performance. From achieving an erection to concerns over premature ejaculation, if you’re too focused on scrutinizing your sexual abilities, she may find you too remote or unattached during the act. So the first step, stay connected. Whisper in her ear how desirable and beautiful she is. Even if your manhood is not quite up to par, show her how you like to be touched and ask her the same for herself. 

Mistake #3: Showing frustration about her slow arousal

Men, don’t even bring this up. We know we can turn it on instantly, but that’s not the case for women. Physiologically, it just doesn’t quite work that way for women. It’s like comparing turning on a gas fireplace to a wood-burning fireplace. The gas fireplace lights up immediately, but it’ll take some time to stoke the flames for a wood-burning fireplace to burn brightly. It’s best to take your time. Ask her what turns her on most. Is it visual, mental, or oral sex? Enjoy the slow burn. Keep stoking the flames as long as they’ll last. 

Mistake #4: Overly stimulating the erogenous zones

Yes, women like their erogenous zones (breasts, clitoris, inner thigh, lips, butt, and vagina) stimulated, but coming on too strong can backfire. For example, women’s nipples are sensitive, and stimulating them can be a definite turn-on. But becoming more aggressive can make things go south quickly. The same thing goes for a woman’s clitoris, one of the most sensitive areas of her body regarding touch. Be gentle using a light touch; avoid using direct pressure, which can be quite uncomfortable, resulting in pain. Forget the love bites too. Nuzzling the side of her neck can be sexy, but love bites can be painful and lead to infections. One last bit of advice; don’t pay attention to just her breasts and vagina. Women have an entire body that responds nicely to foreplay when given a chance. 

Mistake #5: Trying too hard to give a woman an orgasm through intercourse

Did you know the vast majority of women (about 80%) are unable to or rarely achieve an orgasm through intercourse? For this to happen for women, their clitoris must be stimulated, and most sex positions do not directly do this. This is no reflection on you as a man. This is just simply the way it is. Fortunately, there are many other ways to help her ring her bell. Probably the best and most frequent way women orgasm is with oral sex. It’s also possible when she is on top, with either you or herself stimulating the clitoris. 

The best approach is to take your time, enjoy the moment, and tell her how much she means to you. That alone can be what puts her over the top. 


Dr. David Samadi is the Director of Men’s Health and Urologic Oncology at St. Francis Hospital in Long Island. He’s a renowned and highly successful board certified Urologic Oncologist Expert and Robotic Surgeon in New York City, regarded as one of the leading prostate surgeons in the U.S., with a vast expertise in prostate cancer treatment and Robotic-Assisted Laparoscopic Prostatectomy.  Dr. Samadi is a medical contributor to NewsMax TV and is also the author of The Ultimate MANual, Dr. Samadi’s Guide to Men’s Health and Wellness, available online both on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Visit Dr. Samadi’s websites at robotic oncology and prostate cancer 911. 

How men can avoid these five common bedroom blunders during sex
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Dr. David B. Samadi