Why fantasizing about sex is normal and healthy

Why fantasizing about sex is normal and healthy

Have you ever fantasized about sexual encounters you may consider off-limits? Depending on how your values growing up, does having these thoughts tend to feel more squeamish or pleasurable? The good thing is that daydreaming about a romantic affair with someone you know or something more risqué is considered normal and natural. Erotic fantasies are often common and healthy. That’s because one way to diagnose low libido is by the frequency of a complete lack of sexual fantasies. 

Reasons why fantasizing about sex is normal and healthy

Sexual fantasies are a normal part of sexual function, yet we often avoid discussing them. Here’s a look at why sexual fantasies are not to be feared but embraced for the good of your sex life.

What are sexual fantasies?

While each of us likely has our definition of what a sexual fantasy is, by definition, sexual fantasies are a collection of mental images that arouse us we don’t play out. We have different sexual fantasies, and having them is entirely normal. But, most of us are shy or hesitant to discuss this topic with friends and our partner.

Does having sexual fantasies mean you’re not satisfied with your partner?

Some may believe that fantasizing about sex with someone else or multiple people – other than your significant other – means you are unhappy with your current relationship. Not true. It likely means you have a healthy sexual appetite. 

Sexual fantasies are just that – a fantasy. Just like when you were a child and played imaginary games of being able to fly or have superpowers, sexual fantasies are on the same wavelength. When we fantasize about something, our imagination takes us to places we can’t access in everyday life.  

With sexual fantasies, this is a good thing. We are only fantasizing about an erotic encounter but not fulfilling the role in real-time. It’s important to emphasize that fantasy does not equate to reality. It’s a safe way of daydreaming about something you likely wouldn’t pursue but can do it safely in your mind.

How sexual fantasies can be good for your sex life

There are many reasons why any of us have sexual fantasies. Here are some possible reasons that can help improve your sex life:

  • To experience arousal. Especially for women, this can be a boost to increasing libido
  • To satisfy curiosity about different sexual sensations
  • To meet unfulfilled needs
  • To escape reality
  • To explore a sexually taboo desire
  • To feel more sexually confident
  • To make your sex life more exciting

If you or your partner has never discussed each other’s sexual fantasies, maybe it’s time to. Take a deep breath and talk with your partner. Odds are they also have a sexual fantasy or two of their own.

Dr. David Samadi is the Director of Men’s Health and Urologic Oncology at St. Francis Hospital in Long Island. He’s a renowned and highly successful board certified Urologic Oncologist Expert and Robotic Surgeon in New York City, regarded as one of the leading prostate surgeons in the U.S., with a vast expertise in prostate cancer treatment and Robotic-Assisted Laparoscopic Prostatectomy.  Dr. Samadi is a medical contributor to NewsMax TV and is also the author of The Ultimate MANual, Dr. Samadi’s Guide to Men’s Health and Wellness, available online both on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Visit Dr. Samadi’s websites at robotic oncolo gy and prostate cancer 911. 



Why fantasizing about sex is normal and healthy
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Dr. David Samadi