How to manage mismatched sex drives

How to manage mismatched sex drives

Dealing with shifts in sexual desire is expected as we age, hitting both men and women. Sometimes, one partner is all in, while the other’s mojo takes a nosedive, or it’s a rollercoaster where both struggle to sync up sexually.

As men and women age, their bodies undergo physical changes that can affect their libido.

Men might face a drop in desire and some unwanted visitors like erectile dysfunction. On the flip side, ladies who’ve weathered menopause might find themselves dealing with a libido plunges and vaginal dryness, making intimacy a not-so-fun experience.

The good news is that these physical hiccups are often fixable. The not-so-good news? Many couples feel awkward or unsure about these changes, leading to a full-on avoidance of the bedroom Olympics. Here’s the deal: Sexuality evolves with aging. But when couples work together as a team, it’s possible to the keep the sexy vibes alive and kicking.

So, what’s the game plan? Well, start by opening about these changes with your partner. Chat about how these shifts make you feel and stress the need to stay connected. Easier said than done, right? Here are some ideas on how to approach and initiate this important conversation:

  • Keep it positive: 

Start the conversation by sounding positive and inviting, such as saying, “If you don’t mind, I’d love to chat with you about our sex life in a positive way sometime. Would that be okay with you?”

  • Highlight the Good Stuff: 

Begin by reminiscing about the good old times. “Remember that thing we did? Yeah, I kind of miss it now. What about you?” Share the love!

  • Lay It All Out:

Discuss what you both want from your sex life. More excitement? More closeness? Reconnection vibes? Unpack those desires and needs.

Once the talking part is done, it’s time to mix things up. One way is to try out “outercourse” – think foreplay, massages, snuggling naked. The goal? Intimacy without the pressure of the main event.

For extra pleasure points, focus on what feels good. Ask your partner what turns them on, and let them know your preferences. Sharing is caring, especially when it comes to desires.

Feeling adventurous? Dive into new experiences. Read some spicy stories together, catch a sexy movie, or introduce some toys. Variety is the spice of life, after all.

And don’t forget timing is everything. Energy levels vary, so communicate when the stars align for some intimacy. And planning sexy dates? Anticipating intimacy can be a game-changer in igniting your love life, possibly even sexier than spontaneity. So, switch things up and keep the desire alive.

Dr. David Samadi is the Director of Men’s Health and Urologic Oncology at St. Francis Hospital in Long Island. He’s a renowned and highly successful board certified Urologic Oncologist Expert and Robotic Surgeon in New York City, regarded as one of the leading prostate surgeons in the U.S., with a vast expertise in prostate cancer treatment and Robotic-Assisted Laparoscopic Prostatectomy.  Dr. Samadi is a medical contributor to NewsMax TV and is also the author of The Ultimate MANual, Dr. Samadi’s Guide to Men’s Health and Wellness, available online both on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Visit Dr. Samadi’s websites at robotic oncolo gy and prostate cancer 911. 



How to manage mismatched sex drives
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Dr. David Samadi